May 6, 2014

Day 51: Midway

Yes, as the name suggests, Midway is neithr here nor there. It is however, our place of rest for tonight. So we should be thankful that we will be somewhere closer to here or there tomorrow.


Today one of our party was subjected to dog rage. Unfortunately her (Cathy) usual tactic of acting nonchalantly to the advances of the dog appeared to be failing her so she opted for the more appropriate method of dog incident de-escallation, which is to accelerate to your maximim speed in the shortest possible time. Unfortunately, she neglected to adopt max acceleration, but instead chose to increase her speed more sedately. As a consequence, not too shortly thereafter the dog sunk it's teeth into her rear pannier (no this is not a euphemism: Panniers are in fact bags that are carried on a bike). The dog eventually let go of the pannier when Cathy squirted water at it from her water bottle. She now has teeth size holes in her panniers.



If in doubt, accelerate away at your maximum rate, or:

  1. Get an air horn (the loudest one you can find), or something similar;
  2. Deploy your Tazer. Florida Keith has recently (yesterday) purchased one of these (disguised as a torch), which produces a discharge as a consequence of a 4 million volts potential difference between it's electrodes. The only problem with this method of defence, as I see it, is that the dog has to be within touching distance, which is about 100 yards too close;
  3. Get a gun. But be very careful, as the dog owner may shoot you if you shoot it's beloved pet! Which is not only very dangerous, it is the most likely outcome in most American States.
  4. make sure you cycle with someone who is slower than you;

All things considered, accelerating as fast as possible, in combination with options 1 and/or 2 is likely to be your best strategy.

Happy cycling.